CHARACTERS
JESSICA---late
40s to mid-50s
Her alter-egos:
BLUE---the Blues Singer
VAL---the Valkyrie
MISS CONGENIALITY
EMILY DICKINSON
CHILD
MOTHER
JACK---same age as Jessica
His alter-egos:
THUG
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
CHILD
FATHER
THE LUSCIOUS YOUNG
THING
THE WAITER
Casting note: Jessica and Blue, whom Jessica recognizes at
the climax as her best self, preferably should be cast with different races.
SETTING
Washington, D.C.
TIME
Today
A priest, on
being asked what years of listening to confessions had taught him: “First,
people are much more unhappy than one thinks.
And then, the fundamental fact: There is no such thing as a grown-up.” --- Andre Malraux, Anti-Memoirs
EXCERPT I:
Scene
1, Act One
Setting: Jessica’s Washington, D.C. home.
At rise: LIGHTS UP on BLUE.
BLUE
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God-a-mighty, he is free at last! Hallelujah!
Ohhh baby, this is the best news we’ve had in
a long, long time.
LIGHTS UP on
JESSICA.
JESSICA
Hallelujah
indeed....
BLUE
Oh Jessie, I thought
this day would never come---never!
JESSICA
Neither did I.
BLUE
I’ve been singing
the blues for you forever, but freedom songs?
Not til now.
Finally: The man we have loved since the sandbox----
Enter the CHILD,
running.
CHILD
I love you,
Jack! Love you-love you-love-you, always
and forever, Jack!
BLUE
Yes, that man
is free! Amen!
CHILD
Amen!
JESSICA
Amen. Ah: His voice....
BLUE
Yeah, he’s got a
nice voice.
CHILD
I like his laugh.
JESSICA
He’s always had a
certain something. But: such sad
eyes. In between there are worlds.....
BLUE
---and we are gonna explore ‘em. Yeah!
JESSICA
Oh God, how do I
look? Do I look O.K.? Do you think he’ll like me like this?
BLUE
Right now, girl, you
glow.
JESSICA
I could lose ten,
fifteen---twenty pounds.
BLUE
Too late. He’s here already---for you.
JESSICA
Oh, Blue: Can we
believe it?
BLUE
Hard to believe,
awful hard to believe. Read that fax
again.
JESSICA
Yes; where is that
life-altering document?
CHILD
In your hand, all
mashed up.
JESSICA
Ohhhh, I wanted to frame it....
BLUE
You passionate
thing, you. Now, read it. I want to memorize every word.
JESSICA
“Dear Jessie----“
BLUE
Excellent. “Jessie”’s cozier
than Jessica.
JESSICA
“Am returning to Washington for reassignment.”
BLUE
Star of the State
Department will be in and out fast, so we gotta
move. Why? Next part’s my fave.
JESSICA
“Mona will not be
accompanying me.”
BLUE
Mona---is---gone! Hallelujah!
CHILD
Wave ‘bye-bye, Mona.
JESSICA
Yes. Sayonara, Mona.
BLUE
Mona’s nothing but a
memory.
JESSICA
But memory, and
heartache, give rise to the blues. He
must, you know, hurt so bad.
BLUE
Yeah he’ll be
hurting---and you can kiss his wounds.
Mona’s been two-timing him from the start. Like he’s been confiding in you from the
start. You know all the lyrics to
that man’s blues. And now, he’s dumped
her---at last. Freed himself up---for
you. Like the man says....
JESSICA
Yes. “Can’t wait to see you.”
BLUE
We can’t wait to see
you either, Jack! And in closing....
JESSICA
“I arrive on the 21st.”
BLUE
To-day.
JESSICA
“Call me at the
house. Best, Jack.”
BLUE
Now to bump “Best”
to “Love,” go from faxing to----
JESSICA
Blue! Not in front of the Child.
CHILD
I know what it
means.
BLUE
Jessica: You know
you want it.
JESSICA
Well, I’d phrase it
differently.
BLUE
Honey, we don’t
worry about phrasing between us. It’s
primal in here---primal.
JESSICA
All right: I want
“it.”
THEY scream and
shout.
JESSICA
But mostly: I want
him. I want Us. I do, I do, I do.
BLUE
Do we ever. We’ve loved that man through so much:
a couple of insignificant significant others, a boring
marriage----
JESSICA
Now, Sam was nice.
BLUE
Sam, rest his soul, had no color. We yawned at our own wedding. Sam was a substitute for Jack. So were those two PhDs of yours. You wore me out, singing your blues.
BLUE
The second was overkill.
BLUE
And that book of yours.
JESSICA
My prize-winning book.
BLUE
“The Dashes of Emily Dickinson: The”---what?
JESSICA
“The Worlds Unexpressed.”
Emily was so precise that, given her power of expression, if she could
not express something-----
BLUE
Emily didn’t get out of the house. If she had, those dashes would’ve been
expressed.
Enter EMILY DICKINSON, carrying a cake.
JESSICA
Emily....?!
EMILY DICKINSON
To celebrate your Capital News, I thought I would---dash
over.
JESSICA
You’ve emerged on my behalf?
EMILY DICKINSON
No man stopped for me.
This is---dash---Event.
BLUE
(To EMILY) So,
you’ve been singing the blues too?
EMILY DICKINSON
In my own key.
BLUE
(To EMILY)
Glad to meet you at last. It
takes an “event” to bring us together.
EMILY DICKINSON
It does. Cake all
around?
JESSICA
The famous black cake.
CHILD
Yum!
BLUE
Uh, Jack likes ‘em skinny, Jess.
JESSICA
Make that thirty pounds.
BLUE
We’ll wear our strategic outfit, designed for a “spectrum of
sizes.”
EMILY DICKINSON
I labored for nothing?
BLUE
That’s guilt, Miss Em. Don’t do that.
CHILD
Jack’s put on weight, you know.
BLUE
Men can, we can’t.
CHILD
But why?
BLUE
Because.
CHILD
But why?
BLUE
Because that’s the way it is, Child!
JESSICA
Let’s not argue, please?
CHILD
I WANT SOME CAKE!
EMILY DICKINSON
Just the merest suggestion of a sliver....?
CHILD
(To BLUE) You
know you want “it,” Blue.
BLUE
All right. Cake us,
Miss Em, with the merest. Then we fix this gal up.
LAUGHTER. LIGHTS
UP on VAL, the Valkyrie.
JESSICA
Oh dear.... Hello,
Val. I wondered when you’d come.
BLUE
She’s come for the cake.
VAL
I’ve come to remind Jessica: He married your best
friend. Never forget that.
BLUE
What took you so long, Val?
VAL
I had to suit up. And
so does Jessica. He married your best
friend.
JESSICA
That was thirty years ago.
VAL
PAIN NEVER DIES!
Remember the pain---the bitter pain.
CHILD
Mona was not my best friend, you know.
JESSICA
She was a circumstantial friend, she lived next door.
VAL
John had taken an oath to you.
JESSICA
We were only “going steady.”
CHILD
Still: Jack---dumped me for Mona, when she dumped
Steve. And Jack dumped me with a letter,
the coward. Coward-coward-coward.
JESSICA
O.K., O.K., O.K., I remember the pain.
VAL
Say it with feeling. Mit passion.
JESSICA
All right! I remember
it: the bitter, bitter pain.
VAL
Wunderbar.
JESSICA
But: I also remember----
VAL
---how you three have been “friends” ever since, ja. It was
Betrayal! They betrayed you.
Enter MOTHER.
MOTHER
---and friends don’t do those sorts of things.
JESSICA
Oh hello, Mother.
CHILD
(Running to MOTHER)
Mommy, Mommy, I hurt....
MOTHER
I tried to protect you, but Mona was a beauty, and while you
have your own kind of beauty, dear, you were no Miss America. So Jack, being male, naturally gravitated
toward beauty----
ALL
Naturally.
MOTHER
---and you were much too nice about the whole business.
JESSICA
Which I learned from you, Mother: being nice.
BLUE
(To EMILY) This is where it gets complicated, Miss Em.
EMILY DICKSINSON
Yes, Civility has---Penances.
VAL
The biggest penance being Jessica serving as shoulder to
Jack’s Sturm und Drang with Mona.
JESSICA
Say what you will but: Where would we be without civility?
BLUE
Yeah, we’d be in----
(To VAL) Gutter---what?
VAL
Götterdammerung!
BLUE
You got it.
VAL
JA!
JESSICA
(To VAL) I cannot
believe you inhabit me, I just can not.
VAL
Believe it. And believe
this: You are very, very angry at Jack, not least because Mona never
loved him----
MISS CONGENIALITY
(offstage)
Yoo-hoo, I inhabit you too!
‘Scuse me, ‘scuse
me, I’m coming....!
VAL
Ach, the Southern belle.
JESSICA
Everybody, be nice to her.
VAL
You’re too protective of her.
JESSICA
Naturally: She’s my best self.
VAL
God help you.
BLUE
I thought I was your best self....
CHILD
I really like her, she’s so nice.
BLUE
Too nice. My biggest
fans, Jessica, are people who are too nice.
EMILY DICKINSON
Will this become---violent?
VAL
How else can Truth be forged?
Enter MISS CONGENIALITY.
MISS CONGENALITY
Hello everybody, sorry to be late. E-e-e-e, Jessie, I’m so-o-o-o happy
for you!
VAL
Isn’t punctuality a major symptom of your disease?
JESSICA
Val----
MISS CONGENIALITY
I was doing my thank-you notes.
VAL
“Dear Sister Contestant: Thanks for being a loser too.”
BLUE
You’re no prize-winner.
Not with that attitude, and the costume.
MISS CONGENIALITY
We of the pageant don’t speak of winners and losers.
VAL
But you think it.
MISS CONGENIALITY
Naturally the crown goes to beauty, but congeniality is
honored too. By society.
VAL
After four runners-up: for Beauty.
JESSICA
---Liposuction, I need lots of liposuction----
MISS CONGENIALTY
But---but I was elected by my sisters....
VAL
Who’re all praying for the crown and not the sash!
JESSICA
Thank you for making her cry, Val.
MISS CONGENIALITY
...but thanks for your input....
VAL
You should develop muscle, Miss.
BLUE
And you should develop manners, Sister.
VAL
Manners are the problem!
And we are not sisters.
BLUE
Oh yes we are, Sister.
JESSICA
QUIET! You know, some
people have a still, small voice inside.
One voice. Still, and small.
VAL
How can a voice be still?
BLUE
And why be small? (To
VAL) We agree?
JESSICA
But: I have the Metropolitan Opera crossed with a goddam jazz session!
MOTHER
Dear, the profanity.
EMILY DICKSINON
It fits precisely the world within....
JESSICA
Yes, it’s so discordant in here. No consistency of style or message, alliances
shifting----
VAL
That’s your job: exercising consistency. Control.
JESSICA
It is, but: Sometimes I think you’ll all drive me stark
raving mad!
EMILY DICKINSON
It has been ever such.
MOTHER
It is a bit excessive.
MISS CONGENIALITY
Honey, I have concealer for that blotchiness. I can share all kinds of beauty tricks.
VAL
The biggest “trick” being charm----
JESSICA
Aw please! I just got
the most cheering news. The man I have
loved----
CHILD
---since the sandbox----
JESSICA
---is free. He’s
freed himself---to come to me.
VAL
On that point: Well, I hate to be a wet blanket.....
BLUE and MISS
CONGENIALITY
Oh sure.
CHILD
Yeah right.
EMILY DICKINSON
(Beat) Ha.
VAL
Am I the only one to note a certain imprecision? In his fax, John says: “Mona will not be
accompanying me.” You all interpret that
to mean he left her. But: Given the rate
Mona has bestowed her charms on other men, what if she left him?
EMILY DICKINSON
There is ambiguity on that point.
VAL
Like the man.
JESSICA
But...he wants to see me and I want to see him.....
MOTHER
He wants to use you.
VAL
He needs your shoulder---as he has for
twenty-nine-and-a-half years.
BLUE
Well, the shoulder’s connected to the neckbone----
JESSICA
But, I’ve been so lonely!
BLUE
Amen to that!
[SCENE CONTINUES]
EXCERPT II: Scene Two, Act One---introducing
Jack’s alter-egos
Setting: Jack’s Washington,
D.C. home.
At rise: LIGHTS UP on THUG.
THUG
Free at last, free at last!
Thank God-a-mighty, Jack-man, you are free at last! Hoo-ee!
LIGHTS UP on JACK.
Both JACK and THUG are drinking.
JACK
Yeah: I’m free---and miserable.
THUG
Oh no, guy, you are so happy.
JACK
Oh no I am so miserable---and I’m drinking in the
morning. Mona is gone. My career is going. I want Mona and I want my brilliant career
back....
THUG
If you hadn’t jammed my Machiavellian input, your career
would be aces. But now that the career’s
over, time for my forte: women. And
Mona? You do not want Mona.
LIGHTS UP on CHILD, who is face down on the floor, sniveling.
CHILD
Mona....
Mona.... I want my
MONA-A-A-A-A.....
THUG
Can it, little guy.
JACK
Play it, child, play it.
And while you’re at it, could you wail about my career too?
CHILD
Don’t want to, your career was nothing but homework and I
hate homework. MO-NA....
THUG
Christ! Jack, look at
it this way: Mona did you a favor. She
gave you freedom. Whether you wanted it
or not. And what do guys do with
freedom? They exercise their Guy
Prerogative and get them some JOY.
CHILD
What’s a “per-ga-gative”?
THUG
Pre-roga-tive. Meaning all rights appertaining to being a
guy. .... And the coolest part of the Guy Prerogative? Senior guys can hook up with junior
babes. I’m thinking: intern. When you go into the Department tomorrow,
check out the new crop.
JACK
I want Mona....
THUG
Jesus! We’re gonna forget that bitch.
JACK
Mona’s not a bitch.
THUG
Mona’s the bitch of all time, because: She betrayed you,
Jack---double. One: She runs off with
Mister Ambassador, your own Chief of Mission.
Two: Mister Ambassador is not even a career professional, he’s Mister
Celebrity Appointee, a former TV star.
JACK
---whose conceptual framework was his former series, for
God’s sakes.
THUG
You should be erupting in Othello-type rage. Get out of the dumps and advance to rage.
JACK
But, is rage truly an advance?
CHILD
I WANNA DO RAGE, I WANNA ERUPT!
JACK
I am losing my mind....
[THUG redoubles his efforts to steer Jack to the Guy
Prerogative. Enter FATHER.]
FATHER
The thing for the career at this critical juncture is the
most sober and diligent performance of your duties. To make ambassadorial rank, as I did, as did
your grandfather, you must request the most demanding assignments and acquit
yourself, and not, I repeat, not indulge in hijinks.
JACK
Gee, Dad, I would hope for sympathy from you.
FATHER
Son, you can’t wallow in the emotions, not in the [Foreign]
Service.
JACK
Father: My career in the Service is, shall we say, stalled.
FATHER
This Mona thing is minor, it’ll blow over. Spouse ran off with the entertainment. The career people will see that.
JACK
Again, Father: It’s the career people who are minor
now. If we political officers can’t read
the politics of our day....
FATHER
It’s your reading of today’s politics that accounts for the
stall in the career. Your recent tours
have been, shall we say, lackluster, your cables lack cogency.
JACK
That’s because the world’s a hell of a lot less cogent than
the Soviet-American world of your day.
Your world was black-and-white----
FATHER
---with the potential for a huge atomic bang.
JACK
And mine’s a spectrum of grays with the potential for
multiple flashes. Any thug can take any
bottle and for ten cents American he can produce----
THUG
Kaboom-boom-boom.
JACK
Which is why I am resigning.
I am at sea in this world, completely and utterly at sea.
FATHER
But periods of transition present great opportunities----
JACK
To him who can point the way. I can’t.
FATHER
Well, if you think resorting to carnality will help----
THUG
It helped you, Pop.
JACK
It helped you, Father.
You fished off the sacred company pier.
[FATHER is silent as THUG recounts dalliances. Enter RALPH WALDO EMERSON.]
THUG
Oh God, the Poet-Philosopher. Hey everybody, it’s Ralph Waldo.
JACK
Hello, Emerson. I
expected you might come, though it’s been a long time.
EMERSON
Yes, since you left off our communion. But your Soul is in such a jangle that my
Soul, though it rest now in the empyrean, was disturbed.
THUG
Mister “Over-Soul.”
EMERSON
(To THUG)
Lounging Lizard!
FATHER
Admirably cogent.
EMERSON
Is this our full complement?
Will no other personages be in attendance?
JACK
This is it: the full---deck.
EMERSON
What moral vigor will be needed....
JACK
Emerson, if you’ve come to “enkindle me, I’m afraid it’s
useless.
EMERSON
It may seem so, yes....
Many an extraordinary young man has failed to ripen, has he not? He has failed to ripen and, at midpoint in
his journey, he finds himself on the stair....
JACK is silent.
EMERSON
All things that he reckoned settled---nations, religions,
climates---his career and his marriage union---they shudder, leave their
foundations, and swim before his eyes...
JACK
Yes: everything swims....
EMERSON
Ghostlike, he glides through nature and---he does not know
his place----
THUG
Point made, Ralph Waldo---very poetic.
EMERSON
(To THUG) ---and he looks back over his experience
and he sees: The Slime of Error!
CHILD
That’s two!
THUG
(To CHILD)
Whose side are you on?
CHILD
Whoever throws the punch.
I love fights.
EMERSON
(To CHILD) My
domesticated sunbeam, come here.
THUG
Your what? (To
CHILD) Hey, come back here!
[Emerson tries to “enkindle” Jack about the world, his book,
and the “estimable” Jessica.]
EMERSON
Use your despair to augment your truth. Because to make a new estimate, especially in
these wildly misshapen times: That is elevation. I know it!
THUG
What elevates you is a drag to others. Now, speaking of shapes....
EMERSON
It’s disgraceful to fly to other forms for ratification.
THUG
Oh yeah? May I quote
you? “A beautiful face sets twenty
hearts in palpitation.”
EMERSON
(Beat) A
foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
[SCENE CONTINUES]
EXCERPT III: From Scene 3, Act One---Jack and Jessica
meet.
Setting: Jessica’s home. Here, Jack and his alter-egos arrive at
Jessica’s door. [NOTE: The two sets of
alter-egos engage only their own set, they do not cross-engage until the
climax---when scales have fallen from all eyes.]
JESSICA
Jack.... Well: Here
you are.
JESSICA’S CHILD
Jackie-e-e-!
BLUE and MISS
CONGENIALITY
Finally: The Moment.
MOTHER and VAL
...and he’s drunk?
JACK
Yes; here I am....
EMERSON
Wretched....
FATHER
...and in very bad form.
THUG
Don’t fall.
An awkward pause.
JESSICA’S CHILD
Hi Jack, hi-jack a plane! (Giggles)
JACK’S CHILD
Heyyy,
Jessie! (Laughs)
JESSICA moves to give JACK a hug. JACK hugs her back.
BLUE and MISS
CONGENIALITY
Contact: mm-mm-mm....
THUG
Uh-uh-uh, watch the contact.
JESSICA
Well, don’t just stand there. Get yourself in here.
JACK, THUG, and CHILD enter and plop in chairs. FATHER and EMERSON stand apart.
FATHER and MOTHER
Some
diplomat!
BLUE
He’s hurting. He’s a
diplomat, he knows how to hide stuff.
He’s hurting and he’s showing his hurt to
you, Jess. We can work with this.
MISS CONGENIALITY
Yeah. Offer him something, ‘cause poor baby sure
doesn’t look good.
JESSICA
Jack, you look so---so....
JESSICA’S CHILD
He looks sorta funny.
VAL and MOTHER
He looks dead
drunk.
MISS CONGENIALITY
Baby looks so
tired.
JESSICA
You look so---dead---tired.
THUG
Hmm,
thought we looked pretty good, considering....
JESSICA
Can I get you something to drink?
ALL OF JESSICA’S
ALTER-EGOS
Coffee?
JACK’S CHILD
Jessie
stocks my Wild Turkey, I WANT WILD TURKEY!
THUG
Love that
buzz.
EMERSON
A sound
Soul would be tipsy with water!
JACK
I recall you stock Wild Turkey....
BLUE
Triple
espresso!
MOTHER
Dear, have
you considered what life would be like with an alcoholic?
MISS CONGENIALITY
Try CPR, that
would be fun.
VAL
So would a
cattle prod! Aren’t we thrilled we went to so much trouble with our toilette?
JESSICA
Jack: You really could use some coffee. I’ll be
just a minute....
THUG
Coffee means we’re bombing. (Sniffing
in direction of VAL and MOTHER) Something is out there, guys. Attenzione....
[After more
misfires, with Jessica & Co. trying to steer conversation toward the
personal and Jack & Co. trying to keep it neutral, Jack recovers himself by
asking about Jessica’s book. Val: “Yes,
but has he read our book?” Jack has not,
which leads him to reveal that he’d like to write a book himself, also that’s
he considering resigning.]
JACK
So, what do you
think? About my resigning....?
JESSICA
I think you should.
JACK
Do you?
JESSICA
As your Emerson
said, “Adherence to forms that are dead to us scatters our force.”
EMERSON
Peerless woman!
JESSICA
Spend your force on
the book that lies within you, Jack. A
book about these times, about which, despite your despair, you care. At the end of the day, that is what you want: your book.
BLUE and MISS CONGENIALITY
And us, we hope.
VAL
He wants Mona.
JACK
Ah Jess: You have
always, always understood what goes on with me....
THUG
Why do I try, why do I try?
JESSICA’S CHILD
But you’ve never understood what
goes on with me---never.
BLUE
Yeah, Jack: And we understand about
Mona.
VAL
Ja: Mona does not love you---and she never did!
JESSICA
Jack: I’ve always understood about Mona....
JACK’S CHILD
(Starts
to cry) MO-NA....!
THUG
We killed
that woman off!
JACK
Ah, Mona....
EMILY DICKINSON
What lies
behind that “Ah”?
VAL
That’s
what we need to find out---without bogging down in sympathy.
JESSICA
What lies behind that “Ah,” Jack....?
THUG
Ah nothing,
guy.
FATHER
Protect
your back channel, John.
MISS CONGENIALITY
I know:
“Mona has other plans....?”
JESSICA
Mona’s not accompanying you, because she has other
plans....?
THUG
You know,
pal, Jessica’s not asking after Mona’s welfare----
JACK’S CHILD
MONA RAN
OFF WITH TONY-Y-Y-Y! (Bawls)
JACK
Yes, Mona has other plans.... Actually....: Mona ran off with my
ambassador.
JESSICA’s ALTER-EGOS
cheer. THUG throws up his hands. BLUE cuts off cheering.
BLUE
Don’t look too
happy, hon.
MOTHER
Sounds like
the Mona I knew.
FATHER
Petulance
in a man is---unmanly, John.
JACK
Sorry for the petulance, Jess.
MISS CONGENIALITY
Don’t
apologize, sweetie!
JESSICA
Don’t apologize, Jack.
(Beat, to alter-egos) Now
what?
BLUE
Jump him!
MISS CONGENIALITY
Yeah!
VAL
NOT til we find out about Mona!
BLUE and MISS
CONGENIALITY
WE DON’T
CARE ABOUT MONA!
VAL, MOTHER, and
EMILY DICKINSON
We’d better
care about Mona.
[SCENE CONTINUES]
